the chicken project

Often at school they do really interesting projects. They are often not only interesting but also educational.

i suppose it must be done at quite a few schools, incubate a few chicken eggs, follow them for a few weeks, let them hatch and out pops a little cute chick.

The class was very excited with the project and we would get daily progress updates of the eggs. Finally the eggs hatched and everyone was very happy.

Number 1 was so excited by the whole thing, her enthusiasm somehow not only rubbed off on to number 2, but also The Wife.

We were going to do it at our house.

“we could let them hatch and then keep the chickens so they can lay more eggs”, the wife suggested.

She even played the economic card, “that way we won’t ever have to buy any eggs.”

“we’ll save loads of money and be self-sufficient.”

“in eggs”. piped up number 1.

It had almost been fully thought through.

To try to make the most of this I suggested we conduct some research and fully plan the project. Hoping that after a bit of effort everyone would lose interest and move on to the next idea.

Unfortunately, we had to visit the local pet shop to get some tips on the various breeds of chickens, best nest materials, types of lamps and so on.

the lady at the shop was very helpful. she answered all the kid’s questions, and even very helpfully suggested the best eggs that would definitely hatch. and if through a very bad run of luck none of the chicks actually hatched she could get us some babies to carry on the drive to self-sufficiency.

my look of panic and suggestion that our eggs would definitely hatch so we wouldn’t need to come back for any chicks, did not seem to register with the kind lady.

we gathered all the nesting material, just like the school set-up: cardboard box, fluffy insulating material to keep the eggs snug and warm, and a nice incubating light.

but getting a real incubating light might have been a bit over the top, so i volunteered my desk reading lamp, which looked as though it would work just as well.

At this point the Wife had gone off the idea of self-sufficiency but had started to distance herself from another potential pet disaster.

the rest of us were very excited, and all the pieces were in place.

we flicked the switch and we were off.

we monitored progress. everyday.

all looked well.

After a few days, I was a bit nervous that things would start to smell a bit. But there was no discernible odour to give the game away.

Time went by and the enthusiasm did not diminish. The kids were getting more excited the closer we got to hatching time.

I still might not have fully worked out how to explain the non-hatching eggs. But I still had a few days to come up with something credible.

the due day came. nothing hatched.

I suggested they might be late, as some babies don’t always arrive on time. plus there was no odd smell of rotten eggs.

after a couple of days number 1 let it out, “maybe they won’t hatch?”

“let’s give it a little longer, you never know” i tried to keep positive and hopes up.

after an extra week number 2 had given up and had a suggestion “we could cook them and have boiled eggs for breakfast. with soldiers.”

number 1 did not bat an eye, “they won’t hatch. let’s throw them away”

They had also forgotten about the pet shop lady’s offer of live baby chicks.

I couldn’t understand why the eggs hadn’t hatched. it may have been the lamp. but it could have been the eggs weren’t right. but they were the best eggs we could get. very strange.

only the best royal organic eggs
only the best royal organic eggs

 

trip to the supermarket

i like going to the supermarket. not because i don’t go very often. but because i like to check out the offers. how the stuff is displayed to attract those unsuspecting shoppers and lure them into buying something they didn’t want, or buying twice as much as they needed only to throw it away before they could use it. I keep a look out for a new gondola end display. or the multi buy that might not be as cheap as the three single packs. loads to keep up to date with.

i try to go with the kids. make it a bit of a trip. and they can help guard our collection of bags-for-life hanging off the trolley.

our local supermarket is next to a big industrial site, and the clientele might not be the most salubrious of specimens. Mick McManus would think twice about starting anything in this place.

on this occasion number 2 was with me. a tiny little four year old. she is a bit of a wanderer and you have to keep tabs on her or else she will go off the well ordered route and cause chaos. she’ll miss the fruit and veg and go straight to the meats. then to the cereals. then back to the veg. its like driving around the M25 on the wrong side.

utter chaos.

this time we were making good progress. and not too many child induced impulse purchases.

we had just got to the pasta section, when number 2 stops in the middle of the isle. and declares in her outside voice “I’ve made a decision”.

that was interesting, but had also managed to get the attention of the  dozen or so people in the isle. I think we had just stumbled upon a local chapter of the Hells Angels gang. or a tattoo convention. or both.

but i was quite proud that my little tot knew a complicated word like “decision”. I think her audience was also quite impressed.

“i have decided we are leaving this shop”. number 2 was very certain. The on lookers, and myself, were curious as to the reason.

“there are too many ugly people here”

Four year olds don’t really know what they are saying. and they often struggle to fully explain what they mean. the English language is very complex.

well. we did leave.

very quickly.

and didn’t go back for several weeks. and not on that day of the week.

Easter Egg Hunt

Its one of those things you do, to get the kids out of the house, off screens, and do something healthy – like hunt for massive amounts of chocolate so that they can gorge themselves sick.

This has become something of an annual event in the family, born from a few cross-cultural Easter traditions.

The Easter bunny leaves her eggs, sometimes in bushes, under flowers and even up trees. and the signal that this has happened is the sound of the local church bells. then the kids are allowed to collect them. There are some bits that don’t quite add up, but the kids haven’t really questioned anything so far.

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rabbit egg in a tree

Even when one year the wife and kids were walking through a park and started to find loads of those really big chocolate eggs. After a fairly good harvest a couple approached them and politely suggested that they had found their eggs and could they please return them. Obviously a bit embarrassing.

We had amassed a large gang of cousins and headed off to a local park where we had heard a rumor that the traditional Easter bunny had left her eggs scattered around a well-defined area.

Not everything was plain sailing.

“why is it so far?”

“last year the bunny came to our garden. Why couldn’t she come back this year?”

“I haven’t heard the bells. That’s a mosque, it doesn’t have bells”

We finally got there and started the pre-planned diversionary tactic (playing on the monkey bars) so that Auntie Gaby could sneak off to do the egg hiding.

Finally we got given the signal that the bunny had passed. The bells were very faint, and adults could only hear them.

We finally arrived in the right area. The instructions were concise,

Gaby, “the bunny laid the eggs somewhere”.

Dad, “any other tips?”

Gaby, “near a tree”

Dad, “great, thanks. Anything a bit more specific?”

Gaby, “or near a plant”

Gaby, “or a flower”

Dad, “nice one. very helpful in a park…”

Dad, “how many are there?”

The Wife chipped in to help out, “loads”

The kids hadn’t waited for the instructions, maybe they knew what was coming, but they had scattered to the nearest bushes.

Over the next few minutes there were cries of joy and excitement. But slowly the screams were becoming less frequent.

Tom had given up and was knocking the heads off dandelions with his stick. And number 1 was searching through the medium of cartwheels.

Luckily Auntie Gabs was able to give some subtle guidance, “it might be near those trees, or those other ones, with the branches”, said hopefully

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Searching for the missing eggs

After a few vague top-tips it was clear that we were struggling to remember where the last few eggs were located.

Although it wasn’t helped by not really knowing how many we should have been looking for.

We finally got to the end.

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loads of eggs. and baby rabbits.

A big sigh of relief. From everyone.